Grief

Lucy Dacus: Night Shift

29th Aug 2023 — 1 Comment

It’s taken us 5 years but it’s worth it…

Lucy Dacus taken by Ebru Yildiz 2021

A collage of selves lay scattered, nestled in our memories, our sadness spread in ugly black smudges on the side of silk sheets, a good day in the form of a forgotten earring on an old friend’s nightstand, a favourite teddy still hoping in wait under our childhood bed. We are everywhere but within ourselves.

Lucy Dacus track Night shift explores the cognitive dissonance of a breakup, the longing for what can never be again and the gratitude of what can never be again. A broken heart is a second chance, another go, an opportunity for growth whilst simultaneously being a gaping wound, a gaunt expression with haunted hands and deceitful eyes, convincing you that everywhere you look your lover resides.

Lucy Dacus Night Shift Music video, released March 8 2023

This needs to look at them once more but knowing if you saw them again you would look away.  You go to their favourite bar, shop at their favourite store, wearing their favourite outfit and the perfume they once associated with you. Every day you devote your life to a shadow. Last month felt like the future and now where are you, wallowing in the space between where their arms once were and where you are now. but you’re trying to fill it, so you go to work, you wash your face, you go for a run, you keep running, you wash the floor, you go to work, you cry in the storage cupboard, you cry in the woods, standing in your running trainers, head aflame, lungs burning. Why couldn’t I be enough, if love is all we are then why did you leave?

The now iconic line “you’ve got a nine to five, so I’ll take the night shift’ powerfully epitomises the deliberate decision one makes when wanting to avoid a person, peeling ourselves away from who they used to be by forcing ourselves to explore different routes.

Night Shift by Lucy Dacus

Dacus so beautifully navigates the turmoil and resentment dictated by a premature departure of a lover. Her lyrics are hauntingly honest, full of empowering rage, propelled by a steady drumbeat, like a heart in a state of recovery, complimented by the building up riff of the guitar, like a heart in flight or fight mode, this juxtaposition of peace and war creating a heart wrenching symphony that sadly so many can relate too.

Why do we give each other flowers doomed to die? The wilted rose, once so vibrant and routed, sighing, tired in its glass pedestal, once a token of affection, now drooping. Love is a garden, not a diagonally cut stem, it is affected by the weather so you must shelter it, tend to it, keep it safe, respond to its needs, watch it thrive.

Then finally there is a fall of bitter peace, the relief that you can fill your life with stuff that isn’t them, not to distract yourself but because you want to, you start filling your life with light, eradicating all the shadows.

Poignant and insightful the narrator finds a way to forgive, to leave the space and keep the time and take it all in stride. The track, 5 years old, has a timeless quality that allows you to howl in a shared sense of healing agony, a sound of hope that happiness will prosper.

‘Healthy Mind’ released by Emily Howard

17th Jul 2023 — 1 Comment

An outstretched hand on the journey through grief.

Emily Howard, a talented musician, recently released , “Healthy Mind,” featured on her album titled “Good Grief.” This emotionally charged track delves deep into the complexities of navigating grief, offering listeners a raw glimpse into tragedy. With a delicate balance of humor, hope, and moments of profound despair, Howard’s hauntingly beautiful composition strikes a chord with our innermost emotions.

Emily Howard Healthy Mind.

Simplistic and stripped back this song is all the more effective with it’s acoustic sound and complex lyrics. By embracing vulnerability and finding resilience Howard has created an intricate insight into loss and hope. Her honestly and humour demonstrate her humanity in the face of adversity. This song also serves as a reminder that sometimes, putting yourself first does not equate to selfishness in actuality it equates to survival. Despite such a strong emotion, Howard demonstrates there is sometimes peace in a storm with her effortlessly empowering Jazz influenced vocals.

After losing her boyfriend in a motorbike accident when she was 17 , her album Good Grief offers an honest and insightful, outstretched hand on others who have also been pushed onto this unfortunate journey. Grief encompasses the sorrow and pain that follows a major unexpected change in our lives whether it be divorce, losing a job or the sudden loss of a loved one. It is an experience that transcends language and affects each individual uniquely. Numbness settles in, a spectre of who you once were this should of silence and eruption of inner turmoil, our once known world now an alien planet. As time passes, emotions surge, fluctuating between anger, sadness, and profound longing for what once was. Grief is an uninvited companion that walks beside us, reminding us of the depth of our love and the irreplaceable void left behind. It is a process of learning to navigate life without the physical presence of the one we mourn, while still cherishing the memories and the impact they had on our lives. It is an uninvited teacher, demonstrating the fragility of existence and the resilience of the human spirit. Through grief, we learn to honour and remember, to find solace in the bittersweet beauty of the past, and to forge a renewed sense of purpose in the wake of loss.

Good Grief Album by Emily Howard

It is not just the incident that impacts us, it is not just them who we mourn but also the loss of the It is in the future we had envisioned too. Full of promises, shared moments, cherished memories, and hope, seemingly fade away like a distant mirage. However, within the depths of grief, we can also discover a profound sense of resilience and the capacity to find solace in treasured memories. It is through embracing these memories and honoring the legacy of those we have lost that we can ultimately begin to heal and find a renewed sense of purpose.

Time may not heal all wounds, but it has the power to bring comfort and grant us the strength to carry on. The experiences we hold close to our hearts continue to shape us, leaving an indelible mark on our souls. Memories intertwine with our thoughts, etching their presence in our minds. We carry them with us, forever tethered to the stories that unfolded. Healing is an ongoing journey, with its ebbs and flows. Even as wounds fade, the occasional ache serves as a gentle reminder of what once was. Yet, amidst the darkness, there is always a glimmer of hope, much like the moon shining through the night sky. Grief can also bring gratitude, enriching each experience we did share with who is gone, allowing us to appreciate each moment more and experiencing it for the both of you, choosing to honour their memory by embracing life, cherishing the lessons learned, and forging ahead with resilience, we go on knowing that by doing so they continue to live within us.