Why make someone your whole universe when you’re not even a star in their galaxy?
You’ve fallen in love with a person that feels like a party. The lights just seem to find them, they know every word to the songs on a stranger’s playlist, each beat they move expertly to. The drinks are sweet and your surrounded by friends, time is moving too quickly on the night you don’t want to end but then they’re still at it yet it’s 6 am you wonder when you’ll be home again, your glass is empty and your ears are numb, but their eyes are searching for you, so you continue to move, smile stuck to your face.
You dance, you drink, you stay for them because leaving arm in arm is better than leaving alone. You feel as though you’re in love with a ghost but being haunted is better than being abandoned. Your world is built for them whilst you’re barley a yard of tarmac in theirs, but that doesn’t matter because at least you are there and when their eyes find yours you exist and, in that moment, you know you are everything. You spend your time finding ways to find that fire, you want to burn for them.
In their song Saturn Stars artist The Boy In The Rose Garden explores similar semantics, falling for the person that dropped you, hoping they’ll be the one to catch you. You are only the person of their dreams because you only matter to them when they’re asleep.
The ethereal vocals entrance you just as the previous lovers once had, you’re death to the eery undertone, a sinister nod to your foreboding future, a sound that places you in a disorientating mist, the confusion of what is is to be in love with someone who seemingly once felt the same for your but now sees you as thick dust on the fireplace, noticed just before a guest comes over.
Their words whip into you, but you’re just happy to bleed for them, to show them you truly love them, to show your devotion as they turn their back on your bones, you’ve learned to feel at home with the sense of being alone. Let go? Would you let go of all that you have When all you have to your name is a stone it becomes a jewel, a throne. You’re home a haunted house full of whispers of who used to roam the halls, figments of what once was but can never be again, the bare body of what could have been, where you throw your keys and lay your head. You had nothing, they provided you with a rag, you use it to wash my skin, bandage your wounds to cover your frail frame as you lay to rest. Holding out your empty hands and your full heart you declare, “this is all I have, and it is my kingdom, if it costs me my life it will have been worth it”.
If you were a candle, you would set yourself alight to aid their journey to bed in the dead of night. If there were no food in the fridge you would volunteer your soul to keep them fed until Sunday. If all their clothes were to rip you would peel off your skin to keep them. Loving them is the passion that comes with knowing you would give yourself up for them to go on, for who are you to take from the living?
You are the whisper to their crowded room. A crease in their new shoe. You’re being held close, but your being used as a shield protecting them from themselves, what weapons id you bring to a war you did not know you would be fighting? Every bullet they shoot at you reflects how they view themselves, and you willingly make yourself a larger target, convinced you can take it if they promise to love you. That’s all you ask, love me you cry as they feast of your flesh, love me you beg as they wash their hands with your tears, love me you weep as they use your body as a punching bag, at least when they touch you, you are worthy.
Self produced, Saturn Stars ,in itself, is a testament to resilience, an audible lighthouse when you’re in the depths of the dark sea, just because you’re drowning does not mean you should grab onto the first thing that feels solid, a rock will just drag you down deeper, find your lifeboat.
With antoher song coming out in june 2023 promises to be a successful year for The Boy In The Rose Garden. Stay up to date with their releases by follwing them on social media.
(If your situation sounds like this there is help out there. Please reach out. You are not alone.)
Evolve Music 