Mental health

Saturn Stars, recently released by The Boy In The Rose Garden is a testament to resilience.

22nd May 2023 — Leave a comment

Why make someone your whole universe when you’re not even a star in their galaxy?

The Boy In The Rose Garden

You’ve fallen in love with a person that feels like a party. The lights just seem to find them, they know every word to the songs on a stranger’s playlist, each beat they move expertly to. The drinks are sweet and your surrounded by friends, time is moving too quickly on the night you don’t want to end but then they’re still at it yet it’s 6 am you wonder when you’ll be home again, your glass is empty and your ears are numb, but their eyes are searching for you, so you continue to move, smile stuck to your face.

You dance, you drink, you stay for them because leaving arm in arm is better than leaving alone. You feel as though you’re in love with a ghost but being haunted is better than being abandoned. Your world is built for them whilst you’re barley a yard of tarmac in theirs, but that doesn’t matter because at least you are there and when their eyes find yours you exist and, in that moment, you know you are everything. You spend your time finding ways to find that fire, you want to burn for them.

In their song Saturn Stars artist The Boy In The Rose Garden explores similar semantics, falling for the person that dropped you, hoping they’ll be the one to catch you. You are only the person of their dreams because you only matter to them when they’re asleep.

Boy in the rose garden

The ethereal vocals entrance you just as the previous lovers once had, you’re death to the eery undertone, a sinister nod to your foreboding future, a sound that places you in a disorientating mist, the confusion of what is is to be in love with someone who seemingly once felt the same for your but now sees you as thick dust on the fireplace, noticed just before a guest comes over.

Their words whip into you, but you’re just happy to bleed for them, to show them you truly love them, to show your devotion as they turn their back on your bones, you’ve learned to feel at home with the sense of being alone. Let go? Would you let go of all that you have When all you have to your name is a stone it becomes a jewel, a throne. You’re home a haunted house full of whispers of who used to roam the halls, figments of what once was but can never be again, the bare body of what could have been, where you throw your keys and lay your head. You had nothing, they provided you with a rag, you use it to wash my skin, bandage your wounds to cover your frail frame as you lay to rest. Holding out your empty hands and your full heart you declare, “this is all I have, and it is my kingdom, if it costs me my life it will have been worth it”.

The Boy In The Rose Garden

If you were a candle, you would set yourself alight to aid their journey to bed in the dead of night. If there were no food in the fridge you would volunteer your soul to keep them fed until Sunday. If all their clothes were to rip you would peel off your skin to keep them. Loving them is the passion that comes with knowing you would give yourself up for them to go on, for who are you to take from the living?

You are the whisper to their crowded room. A crease in their new shoe. You’re being held close, but your being used as a shield protecting them from themselves, what weapons id you bring to a war you did not know you would be fighting? Every bullet they shoot at you reflects how they view themselves, and you willingly make yourself a larger target, convinced you can take it if they promise to love you. That’s all you ask, love me you cry as they feast of your flesh, love me you beg as they wash their hands with your tears, love me you weep as they use your body as a punching bag, at least when they touch you, you are worthy.

Self produced, Saturn Stars ,in itself, is a testament to resilience, an audible lighthouse when you’re in the depths of the dark sea, just because you’re drowning does not mean you should grab onto the first thing that feels solid, a rock will just drag you down deeper, find your lifeboat.

With antoher song coming out in june 2023 promises to be a successful year for The Boy In The Rose Garden. Stay up to date with their releases by follwing them on social media.

(If your situation sounds like this there is help out there. Please reach out. You are not alone.)

OK by Black Honey

8th Mar 2023 — 1 Comment

Sometimes being OK doesn’t mean being happy and that is actually OK

Black Honey by Harriet Brown

Are you happy? A question you may have been asked by a concerned friend or parent or by that odd drunken character who’s seen you down 10 tequila shots in a sitting. They want you to be happy, you want to be happy but sometimes to stretch yourself into a smile seems too much.

OK by Black Honey

Ok by Black Honey is a musical remedy to this pressure. Wanting someone to be happy of course, for the most part, comes from a place of genuine love and concern or a person’s well-being but when it is not wrapped in the context of the person’s situation it becomes dismissive. A depressive episode can fluctuate, happening for years or just days at a time, it is a reoccurring spiral that often has no trigger or tunnel light. Of course, happiness is the optimal feeling, even when it is fleeting, but when it feels like a mountain climb then smoky being okay is enough.

Black Honey Captured by Eva Pentel

The devotion to friendship comes through with a battle cry as the thudding drums drive the distorted guitar riffs. This raw, empowered intro is met with Phillip/s cascading vocals that pour over the pulsating bass before booming in the chorus. OK is a shield against the happiness myth, the belief that if you are not happy you are not normal, reminding us that sometimes when life gets too much or the rain is just too heavy that to be unsettled, to b dissatisfied is okay.

Released as part of their upcoming album A Fistful Of Peaches, set to come out on the 17th of March, it is clear that this new honey era will expose a more personal side. A kaleidoscope of emotional corridors, ranging from the monstrous to the manic, the hopeful to the panic, the love and the loss, a trip round the colourful house of life. This new album promises to continue the roadmap that has seen them find homes from Brighton to national stages. There is an obvious introspective take in this new sound with limited external influence this is a journey into the psyche, the unseen bits.

“You think that you’ve got this, don’t ya?
I sound like a hypocrite right now
Maybe you don’t need a hero
Maybe this was all just one big mistake” Black Honey OK lyrics

Ok is self-reflective, lead singer Izzy Baxter Phillips critiquing herself for “trying to be a Romeo-style hero when I’m so utterly ill-equipped to help anyone. “Whilst moth of us don’t have a degree in phycology or a qualification for therapy, having basic empathy is a human trait, wanting another to be okay and trying to get them there is heroic in its own way. Of course, most ailments cannot simply be solved with a cup of tea, a conversation and possibly a hug it is a starting point. Remember not to project or over-protect, listen to them.

If a friend is in therapy, buttress their progress, be patient with them you wouldn’t ask someone with a broken leg to go on a run so follow a similar principle when it comes to mental health. On describing the story behind the song Phillips explained “it’s a love story I wrote for my friend who was getting high all the time to dull anxiety. I didn’t want them to be struggling anymore and this song is like ‘I will stand by you and if you need a weird 10 mins where you smoke weed after drinking 8 pints till you whitey. If that’s what you need to do then it’s okay’.

The music video for OK is also out. Directed by the incredible James Noise this video exudes art-deco and looks like a dream. The transiting neon and pastel blend represent the focus on chaos when we should be enjoying the colour.

Happiness is a heavy weight that sometimes we must rest upon, this song is not only a love story to friendship it is an ode to forgiveness. Forgive yourself, fight for yourself and most importantly love all versions of yourself. Love you when you can’t get out of bed, the version who was recognised by your boss at work, the version that singly loudly and badly in the shower and the one who cry on their weekend away. You have an unknown number of days with yourself in that time allow yourself to fall, to burn bread and then bake more, when you are being kind you are doing enough.

If you or a friend has been affected by mental health below are some useful resources.

https://www.manhealth.org.uk

https://www.samaritans.org

https://www.talktofrank.com/

Darcy Louch releases [Re] Defining.

13th Jan 2023 — Leave a comment

Time to listen to yourself.

Darcy Louch

Two weeks into the new year, how is it being your best self? The better version of you, sculpted, teetotal, slimmer greener? Has it worked? Have you met those milestones? No? Wondering why? Beating yourself up about it, buried under a blanket and blaming the weather? Reality is ringing, you can not redefine yourself just because you said you would. Creating a person takes 9 months why would you believe that in a week you can become someone recognisable? Why would you want that? Who told you to be this way?

Of course you can create a different version of yourself and analyse the differences on a week to week bias but you must forgive yourself the days that you choose to tick the TV on instead of going for a 10k run, or the night you scoff chocolate over kale. You work harder than you think, forgive yourself.

In her latest EP , [RE] DEFINING Darcy Louch reminds us to reflect on all we have been through and what we have become. We’ve been waiting on the precipice of our potential withheld from ourselves due to the voices within.

The most critical voice is usually one only you can hear. The schoolyard bully, the egotistical boss and the loveless parent, all give volume to this voice, recognise their names and call them by it. the voice that tells us how lazy we are being , how stupid we are how ugly we look, we are bullied by ourselves to conform to some other ideal to silence the voice. This voice is not yours so why listen to it?

This abusive relationship we have with ourselves stops us from feeling love. Be kinder to yourself, be your own parent, your own boss. Had a difficult day at work but determined to workout for 2 hours straight? No that’s unrealistic, go on a short jog, do something light which still allows you to feel a sense of achievement, if getting through that shift wasn’t enough. Not feeling yourself. That’s okay, encourage yourself to do something for you. You are not lazy for watching a few episodes of your favourite show, or even a full series in one sitting, you are taking time for you. Just had dinner but still hungry? Clearly dinner wasn’t enough, have something else, you are not greedy or unhealthy for listening to the needs of your body.

Louch’s voice will drown out the bellow in your mind. Battling against her own bullies, her powerful ballads and poignant poetry touch provides an audible army for us against the aggression of the world within ourselves. 

Her song Proud is about taking ownership over your own achievements, celebrating yourself and how you’ve grown. She reminds us appreciate what we have done for ourselves and acknowledge how we continue to defy our inner demons. It is about prioritising yourself and not feeling guilty for doing so.

Louch empowers us as well as herself with her songs. Her EP reminds us we are on a a shared journey, we do not have to face ourselves alone.

Same Stars has slight edge to it, there is defiance to these words. The pace of the song is gradually build up that brings the bold back into our bones. We have the right to choose. It’s the same sky you’re staring at but the view looks different because shared with someone who’s searching for your stars.

[RE] DEFINING reflects on Louch’s strengths, she’s had her setbacks but each time she comes back strengthened. There is resilience in redefining yourself, letting go of what does not serve you.

Her distinctive style follows on in the same might previously heard in her songs Lover’s Game and Worst Enemy although there is now a sense of surety to who she is. This soul is audible and makes for a liberating experience.

The next time you battle with your bully stick Louch on and defeat the demon. 

Listen to my podcast episode with Darcy for more on an insight into the mind of a musician.